behind

They met for dinner at Anika’s apartment on the Upper East side. Anika's place was on the fifth floor of a tall, brownstone with a large downstairs lobby painted cream and gold. In the foyer Elliott looked at Jessica’s dress and again glanced down at his trainers – scuffed and mangled from waitering all day - and concluded for the third time he was underdressed. 

Upstairs, they knocked on the door for 5C and a tall, columnar-looking girl in a black, cocktail dress opened. “You came!” she reached her arms out to Jessica. “And you must be the lovely Elliott,” she turned to him. “Anika,” she introduced herself, throwing a slender arm over his shoulder.

Inside, he took his shoes off immediately and they walked down a thin hallway into a large living space decked on both sides with large, hanging art and divided in the middle by a walkway. On the left side was a grand, duffel corner sofa and coffee table hung over which was a polished bronze spot lamp that looked like an early century vintage piece but was too immaculate to be such and Elliott surmised was instead an expensive remake. On the other side, separated by a thin dividing-wall was the dining area with a marble-topped table seated for eight. The main feature of the room though was the viewpoint, entirely glass from floor to ceiling, and with a view east onto Central Park which at this time in the evening, Elliott could just about make out the tip of the ice rink and the first walk he and Jessica had taken there together. 

Anika turned around. “Oh,” she said, looking surprised at Elliott. “You don’t need to take your shoes off,” she smiled and glanced at Jessica curiously. “We’re not that posh,” she laughed as Elliott stared at his feet. “We’ll serve up in five minutes. Make yourselves at home!” she said and left them. He turned to the hallway but felt Jessica squeeze his arm and instead led them across the room to introduce him to her friends. 

There was Maya, her old roommate from Stanford who Elliott had seen on the occasional FaceTime when he stayed over and caught the two of them talking early in the morning on weekends. Then Sarah, her classmate from college who she’d lost touch with after they’d switched coasts but now had become close again since she’d moved to the city for an internship at Vogue. And their boyfriends, Jesse and Joel, both long-term, university spouses, who gave Elliott a firm handshake. 

“Hey Dragon,” Joel said to Jessica after a few minutes of polite conversation. Elliott looked at her confused. “He doesn’t know?” Joel asked before turning to Elliott. “At Stanford Jessica was known as the Dragon.”

“Really?” Elliott asked, bemused.

“Her room was right next to the boys and at night when everybody came home late and started cooking up noodles at two in the morning she’d be there, window open, screaming at the freshman to stop making noise.” Joel said.

“I’d say more people got woken up by the yelling than the noodles.” Jesse interjected.

“How would you know? You were the one making the noodles.” Jessica said, raising her voice. 

“You see?” Joel laughed.

“Well,” Elliot smiled at Jessica, “I haven’t been yelled at yet.” 

“There’s still time.” Joel said and then flinched as Jessica reached her arm to punch him.

“Dinner’s set,” Anika called from the other room and the group took their places across from each other. Anika’s boyfriend, Karl, appeared with a large roast venison which he placed on the table alongside the dishes of roast potato, sage butter, glazed, sauteed carrots, purple cabbage, white sauce and venison glaze. After a toast, they took turns to serve and the conversation, drifting at first, came to Elliott.

“So how did you two meet?” Jesse asked at a pause in the group’s conversation.

“At an art gallery in Downtown.” Elliott replied.

“We know that.” Jesse said. “But how.”

“Well I was looking at a piece,” Jessica began, “An Oblonksy, hanging on the wall, and Elliott commented on it.” 

“So romantic,” Joel turned to Sarah, cupping his face in his hands.

“Shut up,” Sarah poked at him. She looked Elliott, frowning, “Joel picked me up in a sandwich bar in Berkeley.”

“You loved it,” Joel replied, “a hot boyfriend and a free lunch.”  

Sarah made a mocking expression - a half-pout - and he smiled at her in a joking way that suggested this was a routine they often repeated. 

“You were visiting the exhibition too?” Jesse asked.

“Not exactly,” Eliott said.

“Oh you work there?”

“In a way, yes.” Elliott replied.

“What was it?” Jesse asked, looking at the others. “Were you trying to sell old Jessica-boots on the Oblonsky! A girlfriend and a sale.” He laughed and hit Joel on the arm. “You’ve got a lot still to learn.” 

“It wasn’t like that,” Elliott said, his face slightly reddening with the remark. 

“I –” Elliott began but Jessica interrupted him.

“He asked…” Jessica began, ”He asked if I saw how the textures were woven together so that Oblonsky is saying one thing with the colour palette, and another with the texture.”

“Wow,” Maya said, glancing at Elliott. “Nice touch.”

Jesse rolled his eyes and took a sip of wine.

“So this strange man walks up to you,” Jesse continued, pointing at Jessica, “talking about textures and colours, who’s not trying to sell you, and not part of the show - and you went along with it?” Jesse asked.

“A bit of mystery,” Anika poked at him. “Maybe you could learn a thing or two?” She joked. Jesse made his face into an expression of bemusement. “Recall Halloween last week? Your costume.” The group started laughing at the memory of Jesse ‘s outfit - dressed up in a baby-blue onesie complete with pacifier which was a hit until the back flap ripped off late into the night, exposing a peach, hairy set of buttocks for all to see. After they’d stopped laughing, the table fell quiet again.

“So Eliott?” Jesse asked. “What’s the big secret?”

Elliott opened his mouth but paused, feeling suddenly hot, his skin slightly reddened. Jessica looked at him, her expression almost perfectly composed but for a tiny flicker of emotion.

“There’s no secret,” Jessica said. She reached across the table to touch Elliott's hand. He looked at her but left it a little beyond reach, so that the tips of her fingers only just touched his. “We found each other.” She said, reaching a little further to stroke his hand. Elliott looked up at the group, his expression a half smile, and nodded.

“Enough of the grilling,” Karl said, “Anyone would think you were jealous,” he smiled, jokingly, and the group - all except Elliott - broke into laughter. He pulled a dish of the shallots towards his plate and served them slowly, listening as the conversation rolled on to Karl’s real estate development, and Anika’s new make-up venture, and an array of other topics he became increasingly less interested in though made sure to appear polite and attentive, smiling at the right moments and laughing during the stories that should make sense to him. 

At the end of the night, after they’d said their goodbyes and promised that they’d meet again at least once in the next month - at Maya’s or for Joel’s 30th - they were finally alone in the lift, Elliott standing with his back leant against the wall looking at the faded, metallic doors. 

“I —” Jessica began after a long silence but the elevator doors rang open and a cold rush of air from the street flushed into the lobby, cutting her off.

He walked into the foyer. “It’s fine,” he said, glancing at her as they walked out onto the sidewalk. “I best get going,” he said quickly. When she pulled near him to kiss he moved his face slightly to an angle and pecked her on the cheek. She opened her mouth to say something, but he just made his face into an slight smile, then turned away and walked down the street. She watched as he slowly mixed into the crowd, waiting for him to turn back but when he got to the intersection, he paused for a moment, seeming unsure where to go, and then as soon as he decided, he disappeared.